The Memory in Music

One of the things I love about music, is that it relates so much to what someone is feeling at that time in their lives. You find a song and you connect to it because of either the lyrics, the music, the beats, etc.

I found this little gem that I used to listen to all the time about 2 years ago. Finding songs you used to love first of all makes you fall in love with them again, and secondly remind you of how much you have changed since then.

Maybe you grew stronger, changed as a person, or learnt new things. The main point is that you're different, and listening to a song from your past shows you that and is like proof that a change has happened and that it was you who did it.

Memories flow back into your head of your thoughts and feelings at that time, and looking back on them through a song turns the song into a nostalgia, or a significant thing that has seen a part of your life come and go.

Even if the song was so beyond emo.

*snap snap*

Let me start by saying that I love being a waiter and interacting with people all day, everyday and that this is going to be a ranting post about people who don't appreciate waiters/are egotistical shits.

It's fun, being a waiter is constant interaction with people. You get to have such random conversation and find out so much about people in such little time. For example today I learnt of a woman's divorce and the fact that her ex lives somewhere else in England. Then I found out she would love to live there, but wouldn't because he is there. You see, GREAT conversation.

People can see that us waiters are rushing around the restaurant serving and making sure that every single customer feels as important as the next. You would think this would lead to customers treating waiters with respect and patience, maybe smiling to get out attention or raising their hand. Or even just a blank stare would do.

Now mostly that's the case.

However everyday there are about 2-3 families that will literally snap their fingers. Yes *snap* their fingers right at you. However not only once, but constantly until you turn around. Once you turn around they snap one more time, raise their eyebrows, pout their lips and wave their fingers for you to come.

Rude.

First time this happened, I simply stared at the kid (16ish), and froze as I didn't know what to do. Do I tell them something, do I just ignore it, or do I maybe ask another waiter to take the table.
Thankfully I didn't need to decide as another waiter saw my facial expression and rush to the table.

I thought that would be the one exception I'd get of someone being totally rude, but no. This happens literally everyday to every single one of us. The funny thing is, it's usually people who aren't vocally expressive or physically attractive.

I think the reason that people like that treat us waiters like personal slaves is because it's like a source of power for them. The second they walk into the restaurant they are very aware of the fact we only want to please them, thus taking advantage of it. It's because they know we wont say anything, that they feel the confidence to treat us in such a low manner.
Imagine you are me, you hear this clicking noise and turn around and what do you see? Some random ugly humans face looking at you like your the scum of the earth. It's just not right, and there's no need for it.
Oh or my favourite, when they start talking about you behind your back except right in front of your face in a whisper that you are meant to hear.

I LIKE HUMANS. I just wish that minority would quit ruining the race for me.

The Vampires

Maybe it's the world's new obsession with vampires or just the fact that we love to not sleep.
Besides, my love for vampires stems back to pre-pubescent days so it's just the fact that we don't like to sleep.
But it is like we are vampires. We wake up when the sun is nearing its bed time, and sleep when the sun is alive and well but we are hidden inside our homes figuring out random ways to entertain ourselves.

The second we get a vacation is the moment we decide that we want to do EVERYTHING that is possible to do all day. All day leads into all night and we end up sleeping way too late.

The thing is, if we aren't doing something productive, we STILL figure out a way to not go to sleep. There was once a time I sat in front of my laptop just re-visiting all my bookmarked pages again and again and yes you guessed it, again! That could be because I'm all alone now in Sheffield.

I love that even if we are dead tired, we will still stay up because we can. I think it's simply the fact that we CAN stay up and do anything we want is the reason we do. I'm all for it as well! I anyway always have trouble sleeping, I'm pretty sure I have a super minor form of insomnia.

Main point is to KEEP AT IT. Don't stop staring at walls, poking your face, and refreshing facebook all night because you know that once whatever it is you were doing before break was, is coming around again and will force you to care about something other than what will entertain you longest.

Nothing but Love

For this Tragic Bore-Julianne Moore

The Pretty Reckless

The Pretty Reckless, in other words: Taylor Momsen.
Here doing an acoustic cover of their hit song 'Make Me Wanna Die' and I'm not gonna lie, I'm SO surprised that she isn't squealing/taking advantage of editing software.
Like I thought for sure the first time I heard her sing live, would be the time I decide Taylor Momsen is dead.
I love this song, not because I'm depressed, but it's just so.damn.good.

Instant Distrust

No i don't know if that's a real word.
Im sitting on the train at the moment and theres a woman sitting next to me and for some reason she scares me. My head is flooding with thoughts of her being an evil person.

I came to this conclusion based on body language and general imagination.
I'm either very pessimistic about the human race, or i'm just another human who thinks the worst.

She also keeps staring at my phone.
I don't like that.
Doesn't she know i'm writing a mean blogpost about her?
Mrs. CreepedOut
However i usually see the best in people. Therefore, my assumption of her cooking humans at her home is probably correct.

I can't wait! Oh...

BIG things are still set to happen in our world. 

Going the speed of light

Finding aliens

Developing a cure for cancer

Making Pokemon real

These things are so exciting that we can not help but to feel anxious about them because they will change humanities as a whole. However will it change anything for us? 

After thinking about the future accomplishments of our earth, it dawned on me that I might not be alive to witness many of them.

I mean sure I'm going to be around for the new Iphone and a new Britney album, but am I going to be around for when they cure most diseases or when they start building a new home for us off of Earth?

It saddens me.

It's times like these that I start thinking about death, in a non-emo way, and wonder what it truly is that I fear about it. There is of course what comes after death and whether heaven and hell exist or not, the worry that I might come back as a donkey in my next life, or even just the notion that everything turns black.

When thought about, there are hundreds if not thousands of reasons our world tells us to fear death. Religion tells us to because of consequences while Ryan Seacrest would probably say to fear the fact that we can not plaster ourselves on every television in the world after death. Unless you are famous, but that is besides the point.

After my deep-thought moment, I have come to discover what it is I will fear the most. It is not darkness and it is not hell, but it is the fact that I will not be around to witness the people I love change and the fact that the world will continue to grow and become stronger without me being a part of it. It makes me feel like I've been put an this immense roller coaster ride and there for sure will be a time when I have to get off, yet the ride will continue shooting forward without me.

Deep I know.

Relations

I'm so tired. Thinking of food. So I will now relate my friends to the food/drink I think of when I imagine us hanging out together:

Ahmed: Nutella/Chips n Dips
Lujane: Any food in mass amounts and late at night
Alya: Coffee
Ida: Cupcakes
Elyas: Waffles/Home-made pizza
Rami: Burger King
Mina: Fridge leftover food
Ray: Take-Out menus
Fakieh: Shawirma
Nora: Oxygen is what we survive on
Jessie: Sushi/Bar food
Hattie: Late-night kebab shops
Sera: Pizza

I can't think anymore.

Emotion? Well that's Gay.

Doesn't it fascinate you that whenever a man shows healthy emotion it's considered gay?
For example, I have a friend who just started dating this lovely woman, and recently updated his facebook status as "2 Months, 10 Days".
Now, I am aware that if you are in a relationship and both the individuals are as happy and romantically involved as each other, as he obviously is, it is considered healthy and good for the relationship. Even good for each individual.
What I find hard to understand is how that is classified as gay? A comment was posted to this status as "A bit gay."
Love is gay? Being romantic is gay? Showing and pronouncing your love is gay? Being in touch with your emotions as a man is considered gay now? Having the ability to self-reflect is gay?

It's not that it gets me angry, not at all. It makes me disappointed and sad. When did a man being in touch with his emotions come to be considered a homosexual attribute?
Has it come to a point where men are not even allowed to want to feel, they are not allowed the right to express?

I think it's ridiculous of course, as an emotional and very exuberant man that such things as love and passion are considered gay, when in fact it is a human function.

Not that being considered gay is a bad thing of course, I am a strong supporter of same sex love and marriage and have never in my life seen anything wrong with it. Love is universal. Therefore not only is love gay. It is also straight, bisexual, asexual, etc.

It is just the fact that when a man tries to express himself, or try to be more than just a stereotype, he becomes repressed by society. Sadly by friends.

I can't stand people like that. Who in some way, I don't know how, were raised with the idea of only one man.
Any woman will tell you, a man with emotion is an advantage. A man who is comfortable with himself enough to express his emotions and passion is never a bad thing, but a great thing.

I like being great.

Football Will End Me

How?
The passion people feel for football has lead to me being threatened countless times. Which I find both hilarious, inspiring, but also scary.
My latest threat was "If they score, I will kick YOUR ass and kick YOU out"

My response? "WHY ME?!"
Their response? "I'M NOT JOKING!"
Get ready to laugh when you read in the news WHY I died.

But I looooooooooooooove their passion.

The Birth-WEEK

Birthdays should always last this long!
Instead of having a birthday, I had a birth-week, which was great because I felt extra special for 6 days instead of 1.
I woke up everyday to the belated smiles of my family looking at me like I was achieving something that is actually being forced upon me, AGE. I loved every minute of it.
Yes I'm growing older, yes I'm becoming an adult, and YES I am very aware of those facts+a few others.

However!
I'm so happy. Almost too happy. I have friends who care for me, family who would die for me, a dog who wishes he was human to date me, an education that so far is going great, AMAZING prospects in the future, also...an Iphone4 <3
Thank you to everyone who made my birthday feel intensely special! Especially the ones who sang for me.

I.Will.Never.Forget.

Group Work

Every single time I am forced to include myself in group work, I can't help but try to take the wheel and do it all myself.
It's not because I think I can do it better, or because I hate people, it's simply because it's SO much easier to work on something if you are doing it alone.
While I have been successful in group work, I despise every minute of it. Ok not despise, but I can't think of a softer term. The constant texting to meet up, then the slow production at meetings because we all can't help but be social together. Then there's the sharing of work which never goes to plan because someone's always either kinda stupid, or kinda lazy. In a not mean way.

Grumble.

Square Enix

The other thing that raised me.

I grew up believing different worlds existed and it was up to us to save each and every one of them.

Or at least live in them.

Jeddah Freedom

Photographer: Tamara Husseini

Model: Nayef Hassan

Is it weird that I relate Jeddah to freedom?

My idea of my time in Jeddah is perfectly depicted through this picture.

Marc Jacobs Bang

(All Images taken from Google)

I love Marc Jacobs for doing this. Why? This happens to be the most egotistical photo of any man I have seen in my life and to be honest, I'm shocked and jealous I didn't do it first. 

When you're your own muse, you know you're the shit.

Buffy-Verse

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Aka
The show that raised me.
I grew up believing that one day we would all have to face our first vampire. I'm still waiting, sarcastic remarks in hand.

The Nod of Nods

The thing that makes me laugh all the time.
Have you ever been talking to someone and all of a sudden they start just...nodding.
It always happens to me, which at one point makes me feel predictable, but on the other always makes me laugh.
I'm not sure why, but their INTENSE belief that they know what I'm about to say and decision to reveal it through the shaking of their face, just gets me every time.
The only thing that would ever top this, is if a waiter just started nodding at me the second I start saying my order. I would die. A good death though.

Night Out, But Which Country?

Social events obviously vary from place to place. The interests of the people are in no doubt extremely different based on where it is they live.
For example, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia(heart), where a 'night out' means hanging out with as MANY friends as possible in one area. Usually a house because outside a house means chances of being persecuted for speaking to the opposite gender. But backwards thoughts aside, Jeddah is all about having a party without the party label every night.
Now, England. Notice I did not put a town or city because this applies to ALL of England. A 'night out' in England consists of getting as little or as many friends as possible to go out and get just a little bit wasted, lose your inhibitions and dance the night away rubbing up against a stranger you are convinced is the love of your life.
Before you start pointing the finger, I admit I am guilty of this 'night out' style.
England is all bout having the PARTY with the label of PARTY.
At one point in my life I thought this was because of the people in each area, but no, It's simply the environment they are in.
I am 100% certain that if I brought all my friends from Jeddah to England, our parties without the party label, would indeed become labelled as PARTY.
And the same applies to England friends, that we would LOSE the label but continue the 'party'.
I hope I'm making sense, if not, slap me.

The Losers Of The World

Personal Experience Time:
Last night i went to a friends friends house for an after-party with a couple of my friends, which included a very small boy. When I say small I don't mean young, just SMALL.
This innocent kid was simply looking at a card in the house, when all of a sudden, this BIG boy starts freaking out about how no one's allowed to touch his card. Again, BIG boy.
He proceeds to push this small boy out of the house yelling his ass off about how someone was touching his card.
Why he has a personal and sexual relationship with his card I will never know. We left, but only after I was threatened to be probably murdered when going back to get my jacket. Oh yes, this psycho, wanted to destroy me for apologising on behalf of the small kid who, of course, was shaking constantly due to the shock of BIG boy attacking SMALL boy.
There's a point to this story.
This BIG boy was fully aware that he was BIG and that the SMALL boy was in fact, VERY SMALL. Yet he thought it was okay to almost break small boys back with shoves outside the house for 'touching his card'.
Why this man, I'm sorry psycho killer, is a Loser of the World IS:
-Violent
-UNNECESSARILY Violent
-PURPOSEFULLY Violent
-Power Complex
-Pathetic because of not-even-funny power complex.
This guy had SUCH a power complex, he took hold of an opportunity to abuse a tiny person JUST to make him feel like he can get someone down. SURPRISE fat-ass, the only thing you need to get down is your weight.
If you're going to have a power complex, have one that doesn't make you more publicly pathetic than you already are, you look like a Loser Of The World.

Ok there might not be a HUGE point to this story except there are psycho people out there who have sexual relations with their Birthday Cards.
And to know when to 'get out of there'.
I had my jacket, I had my stuff, this guy was losing his mind so I 'got out of there'.
Lesson Learnt.

The "I'm On Vacation" Excuse

We all do it, and if you just said you don't, know that I know that you...are a liar.
Every single time we go on vacation, whether it be going away for a day or a month, we give ourselves this right to eat pretty much whatever we want.
Is it because we're now free from our usual routines that we're allowed to spin out of control?
And does this mean that staying healthy is THAT much of a chore that you rebel against it when away from it?
This is how I see it, since you obviously care:
We treat our diets like we treat parents or teachers. When around them we feel the need to follow the rules consented between the 2 respective parties, and we respect those rules like they are our religion.
And the SECOND we are out of view of our 'parents and teachers' we feel this need to rebel against them and treat them like they didn't just help us 'lose 10lb'.

But I think that's okay, so what if I spent a weekend devouring every food my mother showed me/ that was in the fridge? It's not like my gym was there to tell me off.

Click Click *Flash*

I'm not going to lie, a good time to me would mean having a Photographer follow me around for the rest of my life, snapping away at all the times I'm at my best
Sounds shallow but my deeper meaning is on its way!
That feeling you get when you're...feeling it? It could be a new haircut, the fact that you're hiding Calvin Klein underwear under your jeans, or even just a good skin day. I want to be able to capture all those moments where I feel like I'm walking down Awesome Lane.
Is it a bad thing my 'shallow' qualities make me smile? God no, It's not like I have a soul to replace my exterior.

Can't Find The Fast Forward Button

Those times when you're about to start something new, and have just finished with something old.
Only problem is, there's like a week in-between.
How do you not go crazy with over excitement about your new adventure?
How do you stop yourself from constantly re-living the memories of your old adventure in your head?
And why does God always decide to slow down time, when you're ready for it go Fast Forwardx3 Sims Style.
And lastly, why does the whole roster of your friends on facebook, decide to become the most boring people imaginable.

Camp Love Your Body

It's more like a routine, or test, or new lifestyle.
I've started to realise lately, and many other people probably also do (obviously do) complain about my body a lot. No seriously A LOT.
I go to the gym, I try to stay healthy, I JUST recently started with vitamins.

Main Point, since it's warm now, I'm gonna walk around the house topless till I leave for vacation. Just long enough to feel comfortable in my own skin because hey, it's my skin and I want to love it.
I hope it loves me back, why wouldn't it I moisturise it!

Snippets

A poem I found on my wall (it's VERY confusing):
Be Me
Fear Me
Tease Me
Best Friends
and Enemies
Beatings and Meetings
A Rhyming Tune in a
Run in with a Wall and an
Extroverted Piece of Drama Giggles
He Smiles because he wants to
It's all there is out there
Except for him
Since he's an Extroverted Piece of Drama Giggles

Jog of Inspiration

So lately I've been jogging/running/running out of breath on the treadmill hardcore. AND I LOVE IT. Who knew jogging has instant effects?
But what I love more than anything is that when you get to a point when you're pretty sure you're having a heart attack, you zone out for a second listening to your music, think about that model body you want, NO need! Think about all the models out there who are way hotter than you and then BAM.
All of a sudden God blesses you with the strength of a model.
Yay an extra 10 minutes!

City Boy From That One Town

Living 15 years in a city I would say classifies my as a City Guy, right?
Well for the past year I've been living in a city again after living 3 slow, slow, slow years in a town. Now that the lie England calls summer is here, I'm back home in the town.
The most shocking thing?

I can hear birds.
Like the birds are seriously happy it's the morning and they're letting me know that shit. These super-powered town birds are so loud, they're drowning out the sound from my TV. What do they feed these things in towns? In cities it's usually alcohol-stained kebabs.
But I feel the peace, and I feel the humble, and I'm loving the super plant oxygen too.
I even got a free day at a gym!

Relationship = Career Ender?

Two blogs in like 10 minutes but I just saw something on TV that sparked my brain awake again, yeah I'm on vitamins now I'm just FULL of energy.
When people finally settle down with someone else, it seems that constantly one of them end their careers. Why?
I guess you could say they finally feel comfortable enough to feel safe without the career, or that they want to start a family so one HAS to move change career to parent, OR they hate their jobs.

But what about those people who truly love what they do? Who live and breathe their job, whether it be dancing or running a business. What happens when say they want to start a family? I'm guessing they simply choose what they love more, and a lot of the time it's to start a family.
I wish I understood that mindset.

"Studying"

Omg exam season.
OK fair enough I only have one exam to do, but hey, it's still in the season. I'm doing the whole 'study' thing, when it's actually just reading words and repeating them to yourself while eyeing the TV from the corner of your eye, haha!

I'm the type of learner that literally, ok prepare for psycho speak, I have to talk to myself while I study, basically having a conversation with myself. It totally helps because it's like I'm writing an essay, and for the past 3 years of my life all I've done is write essays.
Does it help? Hell yes! Is it crazy and potentially future psychokiller? Just...just a little bit.

Mine, No MINE!

Ok, I think my brain's going to blow up. I woke up to people complaining and freaking out about politics and the voting. So I was all, wtf, how does this work. So after figuring out how the whole system worked in the UK, what do I think?

Are you serious?

It's literally like a bunch of kids pulling at a crown or something. People say "This is how things are always done." I have news for you, just because something is traditional, doesn't make it right.
If I can figure that out, I'm PRETTY sure leaders can at least guess it? I think I just lost the faith.
Yep there it goes.
Nayef doesn't care anymore.

Chaaaaaaange His Ways

Make a change! After hours and hours of singing to myself in my Macbook laptop screen, I re-discovered (that's a lie), just discovered Michael Jacksons-Man in the mirror properly. Like actually paid attention. And I can't stop singing, like I don't even care about the imaginary amazing notes I hit! Haha! The song hits me hard, heart wise!

If something's wrong, then something's wrong, so change it. Simples?

Lindsay-where'd you go-Lohan

I'm not going to lie, Linsdsay Lohan used to be my perfect woman. With the whole red head, cute face, adorable personality thing going on, she was like MADE for me. You know, before half her body decided to disappear.
WHY am I remembering LL? I re-listened to Confessions of a Broken Heart and my heart broke, I really miss her. Like she was a good actress too, such a beautiful woman. ALSO, I'm a dedicated 10x watched Mean Girls fan and she was my best friend in my head! Sadness.

There's A War And I Already Lost

Goodnight.

I don't get hunger, is it there because it loves us, or simply because it hates us. Because with a serious face on, I'm for the latter. Sure being hungry means feed me or die, but doesn't it also mean feed me and gain like 100lb? It's a constant battle I'm pretty sure I'm not going to win, hell even try to.